Episode 24

It’s not easy to heal after being cheated on—after all, everything about infidelity is powerfully painful. It doesn’t matter if it was a one-time indiscretion, a series of micro-flirtations, an emotional affair, or finding out your partner has a secret family. Whatever shade of infidelity you’re dealing with, it’s totally natural to feel a sense of betrayal, anger, and grief. There’s nothing like a betrayal to throw your self-esteem for a loop. When your spouse betrays you, you are devastated. But, your devastation might pale in comparison to the hit that your self-esteem takes when this happens.

Infidelity is the worst of the worst when it comes to damaging your self-esteem. Even though you know it’s not about you, there are still society’s messages directed at you. Many people will whisper and wonder whether or not you were a good wife or husband and if your spouse cheated because of your deficits, not theirs.

But, still, this pales in comparison to the blow your self-esteem takes whenever you think of the other person. Thinking of the other person and how they were able to lure your spouse away down the rabbit hole really takes the cake in terms of self-esteem destroyers. If you learned about your partner’s infidelity while being quarantined with them, it may be even harder to come to terms with the news. In such close quarters, you may not have been able to grant yourself the physical or mental space you need in order to process the situation. But if there’s one thing I want you to know, it’s that being cheated is never your fault and your value and worth aren’t tied to anyone or anything. With time and patience, healing and loving yourself again are possible, whether that means with your partner in or out of the picture.

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